I need help with my plumbing?

In order to better help you with this terrible situation, I think we need to know more about this toilet. Is it a normal one? You know Toto, or American Standard, or is it one of those pansy water saving types, they just don't work, also, are you sure you were on the toilet, sometimes if I drank too much I mistake the hamper for the toilet, did you check the hamper? In any case, this seems odd to me, you would think there would be a clog or something, have you used the toilet since? Did you check your hamper for the pineapple?